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WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

by Mariane Holbrook

You asked me what I want for Christmas so I'm here to say
That I'm not hard to please and I'll behave on Christmas Day.
I don't want a Mercedes, a Ferrari or a Jeep;
I don't want flashy rings which make me look like something cheap.

Don't spend your hard-earned money on some fur for round my neck
And keep your wallet tightly closed cuz I don't need a check.
Don't shop at Neiman-Marcus for a dress by Ralph Lauren;
You've always shopped at Wal-Mart since I can't remember when.

And don't invest in fancy jeans that cost you half your pay
Or flowers out of season, all wrapped up in a bouquet.
Don't bother with Godiva chocolates, Russell Stover, too.
Forget the real live puppy or that thing that cries "mew-mew."

I'll tell you what I want for Christmas more than anything;
It's sure to make my heart rejoice and sure to make me sing.
So shopping will be easy cuz you'll know which store it's at:
A big ole knife against my hips to slice off all this fat !