MARIANE'S VALENTINES
(Rejected by Hallmark Cards)

by Mariane Holbrook 

# 1 
With all my heart I love you, 
With all my heart I care; 
I still have one big question, though, 
"Do you still dye your hair?" 

#2 
You look so lovely in that dress 
I even love your hat. 
Is it okay to tell the world 
You've gotten sorta fat? 

#3 
My valentine, I love you so, 
You fill my heart with bliss. 
If you'd just put your teeth in 
Then I might enjoy a kiss. 

#4 
Dear Valentine, you are so dear, 
I love your tender touch. 
Let's just forget your mother said 
You'd not amount to much. 

#5

Dear Pastor, words cannot express 
How sad we are when we transgress. 
We hate to be a stumbling block, 
But next time, will you bring a clock? 

Your sermons are just what we need 
To learn our doctrine and our creed. 
But we would sing a glorious tune 
If you'd just let us out by noon. 

We love the singing and the prayers 
And talking to our God upstairs. 
But what you sow you cannot reap 
If you keep putting us to sleep.